- [In the Avengers Tower] "Man... I could afford a closet in this place!"
- [Level up] "Look out, world! Spidey comin' through!"
- [To Black Widow] "Why are all the other spider heroes secret agents? Where was I on career day?"
- [To Colossus] "Hey Metal Man, does your tongue stick to yourself in the winter ?"
- [To Cable] "(slyly) Hey Cable, you're from the future? Tell me some lotto numbers."
- [To Deadpool] "Will you regenerate if I bite your head off?"
- [To Gambit] "Sorry my aunt told never to gamble with strange mutants with accents."
- [To Ghost Rider] "You're like a walking heavy metal album cover."
- [To Human Torch] "Hey Johnny, can't you read? Sign says no smoking."
- [To Iron Fist] "Some guys get mystical cities, I get a juiced arachnid. Doesn't seem fair."
- [To Iron Man] "Not everyone can just buy their powers, Stark."
- [To Iron Man] "Hey Tony, does that thing run on Windows or Linux?"
- [To Jean Grey] "Wait, you're a telepath!? Please don't read my- ...too late, walking away now."
- [To Loki] "I don't need my Spider-sense to know not to trust Loki."
- [To Ms. Marvel] "So is there a Mr Marvel?"
- [To Ms. Marvel] "Wow! That's a very nice... sash."
- [To Nightcrawler] "Hey is that a tail in your pocket? Or are you just- oh, it is a tail."
- [To Rocket Raccoon] "Don't tell me you were bitten by a radioactive human."
- [To Rocket Raccoon] "You're not even the weirdest thing I've seen today."
- [To Scarlet Witch] "My Spidey-senses...your hexes... Las Vegas? Whaddya say?
- [To Storm] "Storm, you really put the her in hurricane!"
- [To Thor] "Thunder and Lightning, very very frightening."
- [To Thor] "So tell me, does every problem look like a nail to you?"
- "Knock, knock. Who's there? None of you guys."
- "We done here? Because I've gotta see a guy about a thing."
- "Looks fine to me! How about, uh, we all go home now."
- "I don't exactly have the proportional patience of a spider."
- [When Summoned] "Must I prove my superiority again?"
- [When Summoned] "Does this crime fighting ever end?"
- [When Summoned] "I assume the day needs saving?"
- [When Summoned] "Another day as Spider-Man awaits."
- [When Summoned] "I'm the Spider-Man for the job!"
- [When Summoned] "There is no time for delay!"
- [Picking Up Item] "Perhaps I'll take this back to the lab..."
- [Picking Up Item] "This will be useful later."
- [Showoff] "Attack, my Spider forces!"
- [To Captain America] "I would like to study that shield, Captain"
- [To Cyclops] "I must study this Ruby Quartz sometime."
- [To Human Torch] "That hothead has limitless power waiting to be harnessed!"
- [To Jean Grey] "Get out of my mind, woman!"
- [To Juggernaut] "Even my science can not account for all the probabilities in this one."
- [To Ms. Marvel] "The Avengers always induct such...lovely heroines."
- [To Spider-Man] "You may be the first, but I am superior!"
- [To Squirrel Girl] "How have you defeated so many super villains?!"
- [To Storm] "You must be the lovely weather controlling mutant."
- [To Thor] "Thor, tell me more of your Asgardian science."
- [To Wolverine] "This Wolverine is a savage, not a hero."